Love The Giver More Than The Gift
When I was newly married to my first husband in 1997, he bought me a dishwasher for my birthday. I was furious. Yes, I was washing dishes by hand because we didn't have a dishwasher. He repeatedly explained that he thought it was a great gift because it would save us time doing the dishes. I was convinced it was a present for the house and not for me. I remember saying goodbye to my dishwasher/birthday present two years later when we sold the house, with bitterness on my lips. Now, I'm ashamed of how I reacted (even if I did divorce him). It was a thoughtful gift, but I expected something different. I wanted to love the gift more than the giver.
My second husband proposed to me on New Year's Eve in 2021 with a $1.98 ring pop from WaWa. Rather than spend a bunch of money on a ring I didn't like (which is what happened with his first two wives), he fully intended the ring pop to be a placeholder ring because he wanted to surprise me, didn't know what kind of ring I wanted, and thought I would get a kick out of the hilariousness of the over-sized ring pop. Unfortunately, it backfired big time. I ended up mind-f*cking myself over that for months, telling myself I wasn't worth a real ring and that I was selling myself to the low bidder. I needed a serious amount of hypnosis and reassurance from my husband that I could have whatever ring I wanted (and eventually got).
When researching quotes to write in my Positivity Pages, I found the quote: Love the Giver more than The Gift. My heart just melted when I read that. So many times, I focused on "the gift" instead of "the intent." While it's painful to share these stories where I did not appreciate the gifts I received, I have a feeling I'm not alone. This may be a gentle reminder for all gift receivers to take a breather and reflect on the intent behind the gifts they received.
In a world where material possessions often take center stage, it's easy to forget the true essence of giving. Gifts are wonderful to receive, but the real magic lies in the thought and love behind them. Here's why appreciating the giver more than the gift can bring you more profound joy and connection...
It's The Thought That Counts
When someone gives you a gift, it's not just about the item itself. It's about the time, effort, and thought that person put into choosing something special for you. This gesture shows they care and know you well enough to pick something meaningful. Consider the moments they spent thinking about what would make you smile or what you need. That thoughtfulness is a gift reflecting their understanding and affection for you.
Building Stronger Relationships
Focusing on the giver strengthens your relationship. It shifts the focus from materialism to gratitude and appreciation. Expressing genuine thanks for a person's thoughtfulness can deepen your bond and foster a sense of closeness. Appreciation can lead to more open communication and mutual respect, creating a foundation for a lasting relationship. You nurture a connection beyond a material exchange by valuing the person over the present.
Embracing the Intent
Sometimes, the gift might not be what you wanted, but the intent behind it is what truly matters. Recognizing the effort and love that went into the gesture helps you appreciate the giver's intentions. Maybe they remembered a story you shared or a comment about something you liked. By focusing on the intent, you can find joy in knowing that someone cares enough to try to make you happy, even if the execution wasn't perfect. This perspective encourages a positive outlook and reinforces the importance of thoughtfulness over perfection.
