I spent last week in Las Vegas attending an Attraction Mastery class. It was a fabulous class! I learned a lot. One of the things that sparked my interest, was the 2 of the attendees were taking the class because they were looking to “upgrade.” That means they are no longer interested in their current spouse/partner, and looking to get themselves something new.

While researching this topic, I googled “Stages of Love.” I found some interesting articles and diagrams detailing the stages or phases of love. My favorites were the scientifically written clinical models done by psychology researchers. Just so you know, there are auto repair manuals written with more love and compassion than any stages of love written by a researcher. Stages were

With Valentine’s Day in the month of February, we often think about love and relationships this time of year. As a result, my blogs in the month of February will focus on the different aspects of love.

It’s often said that before you can love someone else, it helps to have a healthy, loving relationship with yourself. Week after week, I see clients that do not have a healthy, loving relationship with themselves…and the toll this takes on their minds and bodies is quite obvious.

Ever since being diagnosed with Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, I’ve been thinking about myself differently. My world was filled with “I can’t wait to…” is not filled with “I used to…”. “I can’t wait to go to dance class” became “I used to exercise 5x a week.” “I can’t wait to go to the club” became “I can’t want to get home and stay home.” “I can’t wait to get my hair and nails done” became “I used to feel better about myself.”

So…I missed blogging last week. Not because I didn’t wanna…I just over overbooked and over-worked myself. And then I found myself having to make an important decision.

Years ago, I created a rate a date spreadsheet to help me decide who was good for me to date and who wasn’t. Yes, I could’ve blindly followed my gut instinct, but that seemed to get me into more trouble than not. The last time I used the rate a date spreadsheet was when I met Doug, now fiancee. By following a criteria I had set for myself and then sticking to the numbers, I found myself a pretty decent soul mate. My life significantly improved since he’s been in it.

The other night, I read a Facebook post from a couple I know, announcing that after 37 years of marriage, they are separating. I met this couple 13 years ago through the Swinger-Verse, and to say that they are a “power couple” in the world of swinging would not do them justice. For decades, this couple has planned events attended by thousands of people all over the world. They have hosted more large scale swinger events than just about anyone else in the world. These two have been the largest proponents of the swinger lifestyle, not just because they own a business that caters to sexually adventurous adults, but because they found swinging to be a positive, healthy way of life, and they still do.

Some years ago, I met a guy named Dave at Hedonism II in Jamaica. For those of you who don’t know, “Hedo” is a clothing optional resort with strong swinger tendencies. Not everyone who goes is a nudist, not everyone who goes is a swinger, but those who are both have a lot of f**kin’ fun. I happened to be single the last time I was there, and all I say is what happens at Hedo stays at Hedo.

Some years ago, a dear friend of mine asked me how things were going.

“Everything’s great! Why do you ask?”

He then said he had noticed that I didn’t seem very happy. I was going through the motions, but without my usual joy and enthusiasm. He then got more personal, and asked how things were with my then relationship. I got quiet. I wasn’t happy in my relationship and my friend knew it. I had been struggling with my unhappiness for many years. From the outside, it appeared that I had no reason to complain about my life. I had all the things most people could ever want! I had a successful partner, a nice house, a fun career…but I was miserable. Being an emotional person, I felt something was wrong but I couldn’t express what it was.

As a comedian for nearly 19 years, I’ve navigated some pretty tough waters in comedy. Comedy is based upon “free speech” and “freedom of expression,” yet my entire comedy career I’ve been told what I can and can not say on stage.

“‘We must hurry!’ said Mr. Wonka.

‘We have so much time and so little to do! No! Wait! Strike that! Reverse it!’”

Charlie and The Chocolate Factory is one of my favorite books of all time. An eccentric recluse chocolate factory owner and innovator sends out 5 Golden Tickets out into the world to tour his factory, with the secret goal of finding the next owner of his factory.

A few years ago, I realized the life I knew was coming to an end. My life as the daughter of my parents was coming to an end with my mother’s illness. My life as the wife of my soon to be ex husband was also coming to an end with our divorce. My extended family is mostly in Ohio, and I wasn’t about to go back to Cleveland after loving 20+ years of Florida weather. I was an only child and then I didn’t have children of my own, so if I didn’t act quickly it was going to be just me. And that scared the sh*t out of me. I had to do something.