The Life You Don’t Want vs The Life You DO Want

It’s hard to believe that a year ago, I was having trouble going up and down 8 steps, which is what my condo had at the time.  Some days, I was having trouble walking.  I got tired very easily.  I was gaining weight.  My hair was falling out.  I had severe brain fog.  I had trouble doing very simple tasks.  I had joint pain that wouldn’t quit.  

Nothing was making any sense.  I should’ve been the happiest I’d ever been!  I had a thriving business and just got engaged.  But I wasn’t feeling well.

I went to a doctor and told her my symptoms.  50 blood tests later, she figured out my thyroid was attacking itself, a condition known as Hashimoto’s thyroiditis.

When you are diagnosed with an illness, it’s very easy to become “one” with your symptoms.  It’s easy to keep brooding over what’s wrong with your body.   “I’m so fat, I can’t lose this weight.”  “I hate my hair, it keeps falling out.”  “I can’t exercise because of this joint pain.” 

Some people take this further and begin blaming all of their problems on their disease.  They begin to actually identify with their disease and assume all the characteristics of their sickness.   They begin to accept the disease and it’s logical conclusions.   It often becomes a downward spiral of “why me?”  When you ask yourself questions like “why me?” your unconscious mind finds an answer.  It’s usually a shitty answer too.

I found myself getting sucked in to the downward spiral of identifying myself as having Hashimoto’s.  I read everything I could on it - how people get it, how to manage the symptoms, and what foods I should and shouldn’t eat.  What you think about, is what you become.  So if you’re constantly thinking about having a disease and learning about a disease…guess what?  You’re that much more susceptible to getting more of it.  More causes, more symptoms, and more illness as a result.

The one thing that a bunch of research on an illness doesn’t give you, is the thoughts you need to put you in better mindset.

When I heard myself identifying as a person with Hashimoto’s, I knew I had to begin changing my thoughts.  I had to stop thinking about the life I had, and begin thinking about the life I wanted to have. 

I decided that instead of having trouble walking and joint pain, I wanted to move with ease and grace, so I imagined myself moving with ease and grace.  Instead of brain fog and memory issues, I wanted to think clearly and get plenty of sleep.   Instead of living an incredibly complex life and continuously making demands of myself, I wanted a simpler life.  I imagined simplifying my life by taking the pressure off of myself and focusing on self care. Instead of hating not being able to eat my favorite dishes because of food allergies, I decided I wanted to enjoy food.  I imagined myself preparing and enjoying my favorite foods that were prepared with foods I could easily eat.

I took time every day to imagine the life I wanted instead of the life I had.  My unconscious mind took notice, and began responding.

My joint pain eased enough so I could exercise again.  My memory and attention issues began improving as I slept longer.  My life became simpler.  I began focusing more on self care and less on work.    I began experimenting with food and creating recipes.   Oddly enough, my positive mindset began changing my bloodwork for the better.  While I haven’t “beaten” Hashimoto’s YET…I no longer focus on the life I don’t want, because I’m too busy living the life I DO want!