Saving Your Sanity from Cyber Bullies
It's been an exciting month or two as I've been running to be on the board of my condo association. As election day gets closer it's escalated into a mild form of cyber-bullying. While the threats are indirect and more passive-aggressive, they can still sting. Here are a few tips on navigating cyberbullying should this happen to you.
Do Not Respond or Retaliate: Engaging with a cyberbully can often escalate the situation. Bullies thrive on the reaction they get, and by responding or retaliating, you may be giving them exactly what they want. It's best to take a step back and keep them from getting the satisfaction of a response. In my experience, these are not happy people. They see you thriving and will do anything to bring you down to their level. What a miserable existence that must be! Resist the urge to defend yourself. Take a deep breath, acknowledge your feelings, and surround yourself with people or activities that bring you joy. Rise above!
Keep Evidence: Documentation is crucial in dealing with cyberbullying. Keep all evidence of the bullying: emails, text messages, screenshots of social media interactions, etc. This documentation can be used when reporting the incident to authorities or social media platforms. I've been keeping a catalog of the comments about my husband and me, including the social media platform, the groups the comments were posted in, and screen shots of the entire post for context. I keep them in a separate folder on my desktop for easy access but hidden from my view.
Block the Bully: Most social media platforms and messaging services allow you to block other users. By blocking the bully, you cut off their direct line of communication with you, which can provide immediate relief from the harassment. When you block the bully, you also block yourself from seeing the other things they've written. If you have an ally, ask them to monitor what is said about you.
Report the Behavior: Social media sites have mechanisms for reporting abuse. Use these tools to report the bully's behavior. If the bullying includes threats of violence or continues after you've asked for it to stop, you can also report it to law enforcement. Since it's a condo association election, I have stopped commenting and posting altogether. I have let my friends defend me (and several have!) while I sit back and interject a few small doses of positivity. It is working! People are seeing who the "negative nellies" are. They are not happy with what they see.
Talk to Someone: Cyberbullying can be emotionally distressing. Talking about what you're going through with someone you trust can help you feel supported and less isolated. Whether it's a friend, family member, or professional counselor, you must have an outlet for your feelings. Doug and I had a heartfelt talk about what was happening on social media regarding the election. Without me knowing it, he wrote a lengthy apology about how we felt about the circumstances and then turned off the comments to that post. He then removed nearly every rebuttal post he had written. We were free! The opposing candidates left their negative posts up, and now it's pretty obvious (to others) who is who. Positive attracts positive, and negative attracts negative!
You May Have More Allies Than You Think: As I read the posts, I could see that 50-75 people were viewing every post, but only 2 or 3 liked it. When I checked to see who liked it, it was almost always the negative nellies. Many people don't like or comment on a post because they fear putting themselves out there to be cyberbullied and don't want the aggravation. Having experienced it firsthand, I understand! It's an awful place to be in. Just because you're not seeing "dislikes" doesn't mean you lack support. Stay strong and your true friends and supporters will reveal themselves.
Protect Your Information: Review your privacy settings on all social media accounts to ensure you're not sharing more information than you intend to. Be cautious about who you accept as a friend or follower, and don't share personal information with people you don't know well.
Contact Authorities: If the cyberbullying involves threats of violence, stalking, or other criminal behavior, contact local law enforcement. Please provide them with all the evidence you've collected to help them understand the severity of the situation.
Seek Legal Advice: In cases of severe and persistent cyberbullying, legal action may be necessary. A lawyer can advise you on the best course of action, whether seeking a restraining order or pursuing other legal remedies.
Stay Grounded: It's essential to stay grounded and authentic to who you are. Take a few deep breaths, meditate, craft, stretch, walk, or go to the gym. The negative energy that cyber-bullying builds in your body needs an outlet, or else it could remain in your body and create a health issue. What we think about is what we become, so release that cyber-bullying mojo from your body as soon as possible. The only thing that makes cyber-bullies feel worse is seeing you happy and thriving!
