When Your Neighbors Are Total Assholes
After several disappointing events, Doug and I found ourselves in limbo. Our condo wasn't large enough, and the 2nd floor became increasingly difficult for us both to navigate. We bought some vacant land and hoped to build a home, but the price of materials made building the home nearly double the cost of the most expensive home in the neighborhood. Through some connections, we learned that a first-floor condo in our building was available, and we purchased it.
The condo association is going through a tough time. The "50-year" roofs began leaking after 20 years. After working with several roofers who have not been able to "fix" the problem for several years, it's now come to a point where the roofs need to be replaced (thanks, Hurricane Milton!). Because the reserve funds for roofs didn't have enough time to accumulate, there was a discussion that we might be looking at a potential assessment of $25,000 per unit to cover the new roofs. My husband, Doug, knows that we would have a rough time coming up with a $25,000 assessment, not to mention the devastating effect it would have on the resale values. He researched roofing solutions and presented them to the condo board of directors.
Unfortunately, Doug's involvement in finding a solution ended up subjecting him to a constant barrage of harassment and bullying. Neighbor A, in a "Biden-esque" rant, began yelling at Doug, accusing him of not being an owner (even though he's married to me) and telling him to "get the f*ck out." Wow! What's odd is that he's not an owner or even married to the woman he's living with! Neighbor B turned us in to code enforcement while we were painting and tiling our new place and has demonstrated a series of "macro-aggressions" to movers and contractors. Neighbor C sent Doug a series of emails, demanding Doug answer a series of lengthy questions about the association's history regarding the roof issues and asking for budget details and documents already on the condo association website. Neighbor C is tight with Neighbor B, so we can't help but think Neighbor B is actually behind these requests. Neighbor D literally went batshit crazy on Doug in an unprovoked conversation, began calling him "boy," and tried taunting Doug into hitting him while acting out a series of lewd gestures…in our garage. It's like our own little local "Fight Club."
Once the roofs are fixed, I hope our residents will move on; however, Doug and I have armored up in the meantime. Here are some things we're doing to protect ourselves from the barrage of insanity…
We don't discuss The Fight Club unless we absolutely have to. There's no sense in ruining our lives because our neighbors are hostile, miserable, petty, and angry.
We have learned to make jokes about The Fight Club. How can you not? The idiocy of our neighbors is unbelievable. Who gets upset when a condo association board tries to do the right thing and address a problem? Rational people do not.
Members of "The Fight Club" are not allowed in our home. End of story. We don't need one ounce of their negativity near our happy place.
If the mood suits me, I'll wave 'Hello' to members of The Fight Club when I see them. If I don't feel like waving or being social with them, I will feel at peace with my decision.
We keep in touch with the neighbors who are friendly and committed to improving our community. We support the condo association and assist them when we can. We've found it's better to be a positive force for change than an opposing force. Being a condo association board member is a tough job. Board members don't get paid anything for the grief and aggravation they put up with, especially from the community members who think they are entitled.
We document everything members of The Fight Club have done or said to us. Obviously, there's a pattern of bullying and harassment. Should things escalate and further action is needed, we have the history of our unfortunate interactions with The Fight Club ready to go.
We set boundaries and shields around and within our home. Even though our neighbors may send hateful thoughts our way, I don't allow their energy to affect ourselves or our home. Let the haters hate. Their thoughts and actions bounce off of us and go right back at them. We will continue to rise above.
We remind ourselves that this, too, shall pass. It sucks right now, but perhaps it'll be just fine 6 months from now. In the meantime, we're keeping a clear vision of what we want our neighbors to be like and what kind of neighbors we wish to have. Allow The Laws of Attraction to do their thing!
While it's never easy to be or live in a place where you seem surrounded by assholes, it's important to remember the majority of the people in your community probably have some awesomeness in them. Take a few moments to remember what attracted you to living in your community and ground yourself in those feelings. We are very thankful for our cool neighbors, who make putting up with the asshole neighbors worthwhile.
